My Story: Conversion

I was born in Kansas City, MO into a family with a non-practicing free will Baptist mother and a non-practicing Jehovah's Witness father. As a child I lived briefly in Florida and attended a Baptist church on occasion, never to be baptized. Due to family issues we moved back to Kansas City, MO. We stayed there until I was about 8 and we moved to a small town just on the Kansas border named Paola, KS.

As I grew up I was without punishment. My father and mother were extremely busy sometimes working 2-3 jobs to keep me, my three brothers and one sister fed. For that I am very thankful. However, due to this, I was pretty much on my own. Even in my pre-teen years I would leave my home for several days, not informing my family of where I was going. When challenged by my parents or siblings I would often scream curses at them and storm out of the house, not returning for several days. My parents, bless their souls, were patient with me. As I moved into my teen years I did not improve. At this time my father and I were at odds. He was well aware of my dislike of him at this time as I would scream I hate you often. I regret little more.

I started to hang around "friends" who were very much into drugs and new age witchcraft. While never getting much into drugs (I did try Marijuana twice, wasn't impressed) I was greatly influenced into Wicca. While never actually practicing it I devoted a large amount of my youth to studying it as well as other non orthodox religions. I grew out of this when I was about 15.

I became very withdrawn. Always being a loner this was magnified at this time. I got heavily into Online RPGs and wasted about two years of my life devoting the majority of my time to these. I withdrew from my friends, from my responsibility and from my schoolwork. My grades dropped significantly. I was forced when I was 16 to begin attending a community college to finish high school.

At 16 I was very anti-religion of any sort. I saw it as a weakness. As something a coward grips to when he/she isn't willing to bear his/her own burdens. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted, oblivious to the consequences. I moved out of my house at this time and into my older brother’s apartment.

When I turned 17 I enlisted to be a medic in the US Army. I continued in my carnal, hate filled philosophy on life. Shortly after my 18th birthday I was deployed to Sadr City, Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom II. This was a very difficult time in my life and it made me numb to many emotions that make a man good. We suffered severe losses. Almost more people received purple hearts that didn't. I was among those that did. I received shrapnel into my neck and upper back due to a mortar round.

After returning home I was very bitter. I hated all Iraqis. I lost dear friends to them and some use of my right arm. I began to lash out. I drank heavy and often. I began several relationships, often cheating on them. I would talk bad about my significant other and treated them very bad.

When I was 20 I began a relationship with a woman. I cheated on her several times and no doubt she cheated on me several times. I got her pregnant twice and we both agreed that an abortion would be the best choice. I sold my vehicle before my second deployment and began to use her for her vehicle and house because she lived very close to my work. I continued this relationship until we deployed the second time to Iraq.

I became agnostic, caring little if there was or wasn't a god, and avoided religious talks except to briefly poke jabs at our Platoon Sergeant, who was strong in his Catholic faith. I got heavily into bodybuilding and this was a great blessing for me. It indirectly led me to god. During day posting on a popular bodybuilding board a read a posters signature in which this quote was present:

"The demons are sleepless and immaterial, death is at hand, and I am weak. Lord, help me; do not let Thy creature perish, for Thou carest for me in my misery." --St. Peter of Damascus

This got me very interested. Who was St. Peter of Damascus that he put such faith into something he has never seen nor touched. He seemed to place great love and trust into his Lord.

I began researching this and came upon the Greek Orthodox Church. I investigated this more and it led into the Roman Catholic Church. I was very interested.

Knowing that my platoon sergeant was heavily into the Catholic Church I knew I would seek him out and ask him about this information I had found. I was afforded this opportunity while at work in the Riva Ridge Aid station. He was talking to my patient who was wearing a rosary. As they talked about the faith I jumped in and began asking questions. I would ask questions comparing the Greek Orthodox Church to the Roman Catholic Church.

My platoon Sergeant and myself continued this conversation on and off for several weeks. I was sent to another fob to briefly run the aid station there while the NCOIC went on leave. Looking back this was a true test. I became separated and preoccupied. Having no religious foundation out there to grasp to I let god fall to the background.

Upon return my platoon sergeant was quick to pull me back into this interest. He persuaded me to attend Mass and Bible study a couple times. However, I was still unsure if this was right for me. It wasn't until I first prayed the rosary that I became committed.

My platoon sergeant and myself prayed it together at 1200 (we still continue this now) for the first time and I was instantly drawn in. I felt calm and more in touch with Jesus than ever before.

I am now an active member in the bible study and rosary prayer. I will be baptized and receive the communion Sept 16th.